6 January 2019

A letter addressed to my 2018



*sigh*
Dear 2018,
how you started is certainly not how you ended 
and everything about you caught me by surprise.
It was unexpected, it was unpleasant,
it was unfamiliar and yet against all odds I walked the journey
that you intended for me.
I beg your pardon, did I say walk?
I think I meant;
 limped, broken, in confusion, in tears, 
in the dark and often times digging deep just to catch a glimpse of light.
But what do you know?
Your clock never stopped ticking
and life as you know it was going ahead as scheduled.
So I played to your diary and showed up as expected
but you know as well as I know that some days I was just about making ends meet.
A war had been waged against me on every front
(at least that's what I felt)
and the battle at hand could only be won on my knees.
 I groaned in the Spirit and tuned in attentively to every Word He spoke.
His Word : a lamp unto my feet
navigated the course and led the way for the length of my journey.
A journey of faith that could only be sustained by constant fuelling
but as you ticked off more days off your calendar
my tank began to run low.
Confusion set in and I lost my sense of direction.
Even worse, my sense of focus was completely gone,
the things I loved to do I did no more,
the goals I had set for myself I wasn't even going after
and everything I had worked hard to build up until that point was gradually wearing away.
Sadly, I did nothing to stop it because to be honest I had no more fight left in me.
But 2018, why was I so surprised at you
when you were exactly how the author intended you to be.
So allow me to take back my words I said at the beginning.
Instead, let me take this opportunity to thank you for all lessons that I learnt and
the ones I'm still wrapping my head around that I may not fully fathom even now but will appreciate more tomorrow.
Of all the years you were the most courageous of them all
and it is you I owe where I find myself today.
The courage you carried meant I stepped outside of my comfort zones,
challenged the status quo,
learnt how to sow in the dark,
narrated how my story would be told,
called time on the missing dialogues in my life and
went after life to the full as I have been promised.
Even though you may not physically hold every victory as I would have perceived, 
remember, no good thing has He ever withheld from them that love Him.
Your labour is not in vain,
it has been sown in the ground for a harvest in due season.
To 2019,
the buck stops here, here and no further,
 keep on straight path,
the rain is coming but make sure there is seed in the soil.
Embrace the pause,
take a seat at His feet, listen in close and let Him breathe upon you.
You owe it to the nations in you.
The stories you will tell lie in the decisions you make today. 
Chase after wholeness
because when the night has gone and the morning has come,
all will call you happy and joy will be your anthem.
Look, see, He has stooped at your house and already you can see the footprints that show that He has been.
I told you, there was always more and yet greater things are still yet to come.
Go good.

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