12 April 2016

Lord, help me to have more faith ...

If you read the 'Test before Testimony' post I shared two posts back, I'm wondering if you thought, what was my response? What did I choose, God's will or my hearts desires? I say "hearts desires" very lightly here so don't get me wrong, I still believe in the God who gives us our heart desires (Psalm 37:4) but I think as we grow in the things of God (and seek to become more like Jesus) we should come to a place where we continue to say, "Your will, not mine". Like Jesus did in the account we read before his death on the cross in Matthew 26:36-39, Jesus said to his Father, "if there is any way, get me out of this. But please, not what I want. You, what do you want?". Then he finally went back again (in submission and surrender) and said, "My Father if this cup of suffering cannot be taken away unless I drink it, your will be done". Talk about Jesus hearts desires, in a moment when he felt sorrow in his heart (Matthew 26:38) and God's will for his life (to die on the cross for all mankind). If Jesus could come to that place, we ought to.
Anyway; like what people who truly love God do (pun intended) I made a choice to continue with the race God had set before me over what looked like the next best venture.
Hebrews 12:1{MSG} reads; "... it means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running and never quit .... keep your eyes on Jesus, who began and finished this race we are in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed ... he could put up with anything along the way, the cross, shame, whatever ...."
FULL SUBMISSION? 😁
In the last blog post in relation to this "journey" I spoke about how I kept a spare key. What are we Christians like? πŸ˜ƒ Or is it just me? 😱 You know the stuff us Christians like to throw off, "God use me" πŸ™‹ and then we allow him into our lives and then he starts "working on us" and we basically pull out our spare keys like πŸ‘€, "hold on Jesus, its still my life" (actually its not reallyπŸ˜‰but thats another conversation for another day).
This was me anyway. Pray for me. πŸ˜‘
 As if to sound like a broken record, this is why I think we need to come to a place where we come to the end of ourselves and fully submit to God because from personal experience, trust me when I say, if we are holding onto stuff, we hinder personal growth and progress.
Many times on this journey I had to FULLY DEPEND on God (something I had never done at this magnitude in my entire life). Most importantly I had to trust in His timing. I learnt that God may not arrive when I want him to but he will always be on time and his arrival time is just the time in which he was meant to arrive. 
If I had never come to this point in my walk with Christ, I would have never known this (Psalm 119:71). 
Amazingly, teachings that I had listened to months back (here) I had to relive and apply the Word in the now & this just confirmed to me how God goes before us (Deuteronomy 31:8) and is faithful (1 Corinthians 1:9) in and through every season.
  • He was in my every step (Psalm 37:23); 
  • His Word was in season - there were moments when it felt easy to not think he was a good God but so like God to have it this way ➡️ beginning of January my church started a teaching series called #goodGod and each week, each message was relevant and spoke profoundly to my circumstances. 
  • In worship - most of the albums I shared in this post, I was still listening to. One song in particular spoke to my heart with these lyrics, 🎡should this life I live hold nothing but the cross?🎡 and I've mediated on those words as they have set deep in my Spirit and each day I ask myself that question.Since that blog post in January, I've also been listening to Bryan and Katie Torwalt album; the Here as in heaven album by Elevation worship and Housefires II album
  • Even the book we recently completed in a book lounge I'm a part of called The Proving Ground by Kevin Gerard (which I've mentioned before) was in season. In the book the author is sharing on the different challenges and tests we face in life that will prove our personal potential. I would recommend it as its one of those books I believe one will constantly find themselves reading over and over again at different stages in life, its really good.
  • & I've even found myself reading some of my old blog posts (because half the times I'm writing to myself aren't I) - specifically these two; Calling over Comfort and Seasons in life (I encourage you to read them if you haven't already).
To wrap up this post, in September last year I stepped out in faith and the journey hasn't been smooth at all. If anything, theres been a lot of pruning and root work going on in my life and that I believe is a good thing.
This is my prayer right now, "I do have faith, but not enough. Help me to have more" (Mark 9:24).
*sidenote* - that verse reminds of another song I've been listening to.
This journey doesn't end here, like I said, its a series so I will be sharing more in future blog posts. For now I am going to consider it a sheer gift when tests and challenges come at me from all sides. For under pressure, my faith-life is forced out into the open {here I am now unashamedly sharing this journey with you - something I think I would not have normally done} and show my faith its true colours {which I've been interestingly surprising myself too 😳}. I will try not to get out of this prematurely {because trust me some days I've just wanted to give up} and instead embrace this season with every hurdle that it carries. (James 1:2-4 - context added).
I truly hope that you are inspired for those difficult moments when sometimes giving up feels like the easiest option out. I encourage you to ground yourself firmly and plant yourself in the Lord. Take on God's perspective and fix your eyes on the supernatural. Hold steadfast, keep the faith, come into agreement with his Word and lay it all down to the King of Kings, he's got you, trust me, the victory has already been won.
The bearing in which you choose to stand on determines how the story will end.
  


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