21 March 2016

Test before testimony

It's so easy to speak from a place of victory and so often when we've overcome, the test is overshadowed by the testimony.
Recently I felt the Spirit of God challenge me to share my current circumstances before the breakthrough - after all, this is what sharing a life journal should really look like.
(Funny story, the week I decided I was going to pencil this journey down, my Mac stopped working, what are the odds?!)
For many reasons, this is very uncomfortable but it was clear to me coming into 2016 that AUTHENTICITY and VULNERABILITY were important factors to great discipleship.
Now, get this: I haven't received my breakthrough yet and some days it feels like I'm sailing far away from it BUT one thing I do know is: he has overcome, the victory has already been won, he is a faithful God and he will be right on time. Yet these truths can be so difficult to grasp on the most difficult of days. Could it be that, it's not just about knowing the truths of the Bible but actually fully living in the revelation of what the Scriptures say. Of course, this is what it should be about, we should hide the Scriptures in our hearts (Psalm 119:11) and know, that we know, what we know is true and present.
To understand this post, you need a refresher, so I would suggest you read this post.
July 2015 (God spoke) - September 2015 (I responded).

(isn't it funny how long we take to respond to the things of God)
It was very clear after months of God giving me a Word for a season that I decided to step out in faith and believe in the God that had called me and set me apart for his purposes. Sadly, I thought I had fully submitted to Him yet I held on to a lot of the "familiar", for example, the chase for a career, family, routines etc. Yes, I did handover the keys to my life to God in September but I kept a spare key.
I had to let go of a big opportunity (career wise, desperately what I needed at the time) BUT it had to be one or the other.
His will, to be honest, from my stand point wasn't favourable compared to the latter but what I've come to learn is, I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of God than be on my own goose chase in this thing called life (Joshua 24:15). 
If I'm honest, I did dice the coin a couple of times on the latter (as if you wouldn't). The question summarised really was: my hearts desires OR God's will for my life?
December - January.
During this time one thing I made sure to do was to seek Godly counsel and feed on my iron sharpening iron kind of relationships (Proverbs 27:17). The advice I received was not based on personal opinion but would point me right back to Gods Word and gently I was reminded of what God had spoken over my life for this season and that alone sustained me (Hebrews 10:23).  
Even with all this being said, not everyday felt like I was living in the full revelation of Gods' spoken word over my life. Some days, it all felt irrelevant compared to the circumstances surrounding me and even now I still sadly find myself dipping in and out of knowing he's a good God and thinking I'm going to die if he doesn't save me now! 
But he's been faithful and he continues to sustain me despite what it looks like in the flesh, he's behind the scenes, working it all out.
This I believe is going to be a series (no specific structure) because God has pointed out so many things in this season. Join me for my next blog post as I continue sharing and don't forget to subscribe to get all notifications sent straight to your mailbox.
Thanks for your readership.
I hope you've been blessed.
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